Recently, while chatting with a few close girlfriends about the topic of love, we all had a lot to reflect on. One friend, Xiao Ying, shared a story that particularly resonated with me. She is a typical career-driven woman, excelling in her work, but every time she falls in love, it seems like a curse, always ending in a breakup. She asked me, "What am I doing wrong? Am I really not good enough?"
In fact, Xiao Ying's problem is not uncommon. Many women find themselves in similar dilemmas in relationships: despite their best efforts, they always seem to attract the wrong people; despite giving a lot, they don't receive the deserved returns. This made me think that love is actually a "skill" that requires learning and improvement, not just relying on feelings and luck.
First, understanding the other person's discomfort is the first step in a relationship. Have you ever encountered a situation where a girl says "I'm not feeling well," and the guy looks clueless, not knowing what to do? In fact, there are many ways a girl might express discomfort, whether it's physical or emotional. At such times, if the guy could be a bit more attentive, asking "What's wrong?" or "What can I do for you?" can often make the girl feel cared for and valued.
Psychologically, there's a saying that dependent emotions can make you seem lacking in independence, and this unconscious behavior can actually imbalance a relationship. Xiao Ying is a classic example; she is independent in her work but overly dependent on her partner's emotional support in her relationships. She hopes to gain attention through constant kindness and giving, but it backfires, causing the other person to lose interest and respect for her.
Therefore, a "high-level" woman in love must first learn to set clear boundaries. Many women fall into the trap of being a "backup" or in a "vague relationship" because they haven't set clear boundaries. They expect the guy to confess his feelings but always give him "convenient" space, ultimately getting caught in an unclear emotional whirlpool. As netizen @Xiao Yu said, "Vague relationships only delay your happiness; setting clear boundaries is the first step towards happiness."
Secondly, communication skills in a relationship are also crucial. High-level women know how to enhance emotional connections through good communication skills, not just through words. They understand that communication is not just about expressing their own needs but also about understanding the other person. For example, when the other person mentions work stress, you could say, "I can understand how you feel; it's really hard to relax when you're under a lot of pressure. How have you been adjusting recently?" Such responses not only show your concern but also promote deeper communication.
Finally, attraction stems from independence. High-level women know that only by maintaining their independence can they take the initiative in a relationship, avoid emotional dependency, and keep the other person interested. Maintain your social circle and interests, and don't put all your time and energy into one man. Stay confident and don't feel inferior because of the other person's neglect. True attraction comes from within.
High-level skills in love are not innate but are cultivated through continuous learning and practice. By enhancing self-worth, setting clear emotional boundaries, and learning emotional communication, you can easily attract those who are truly worth your time and move towards a happier future.
So, if you"re also feeling confused in love, why not try these methods? Change yourself, elevate your level, and attract the love you truly deserve.