Recently, while chatting with friends about the topic of pursuing girls, everyone had quite a bit to share. Especially that classic phrase "no feeling," which has become a heartache for countless guys. Today, I want to talk about what exactly "feeling" is, and how to make a girl have "feelings" for you.
First, we need to understand what "feeling" really is. Simply put, feeling is a kind of "desire" emotion. For example, when you're hungry, you want to eat; when you're sleepy, you want to sleep. In relationships, feeling is that impulse to want to meet, hold hands, and hug. If a girl has no feelings for you, it basically means she has no emotional need for you.
You might ask, "I treat her so well, why can't she feel it?" Actually, feelings are hard to convey. You like her, treat her well, she might be grateful, moved, but not necessarily have feelings. As someone in the comments said, "No feeling means there's distance, or it's because there's distance that there's no feeling." So, relying solely on moving her isn't enough; the key is to make her feel that "desire" for you.
So, how can you make her have feelings for you? Here are a few tips you can refer to.
**1. Attraction is Key** Attraction is the foundation of feeling. Like when you see a cup of milk tea, if you're controlling sugar intake, the milk tea is optional. But if you really like coffee, no matter how sweet the milk tea is, it won't attract you. So, attraction is specific, even unique. You need to find what she really likes, and then make yourself that "unique" one.
**2. The Unattainable is More Attractive** Sometimes, what you can"t have is more appealing. For example, you scroll past a food video at night, not hungry, but seeing those high-oil, high-salt delicacies suddenly makes you crave. This is because "unattainable" things create a sense of rebellious pleasure. In relationships, maintaining a bit of distance and adding some difficulty can make her more interested in you.
**3. Feelings Can Change** Feelings are not static. As age and experience grow, people"s preferences change. For example, I used to dislike eggplant, but now it's my favorite. The same goes for relationships; someone you initially had no feelings for might develop affection as interactions and understanding deepen. So, don't give up too quickly; give her more time and opportunities to get to know you.
**4. Proximity Effect** Physical proximity can also enhance attraction. Being close means more opportunities to interact, becoming familiar, and familiarity means a sense of security. Only when she feels safe around you can attraction take root. So, create more opportunities to meet, don't always chat through screens.
**5. Reciprocity** Humans are social animals; we all want to be accepted. If you notice she has some affection for you, you can appropriately respond to her liking. Of course, this alone isn"t enough; your own attractiveness is still important. Reciprocity is more like icing on the cake, acting as an amplifier on the basis of attraction.
**6. Looks and Confidence** Everyone loves beauty. Looks don't necessarily represent justice, but they do bring attraction. Studies show that people with high physical attractiveness are more likely to be perceived as having better personality traits. So, maintaining neat attire and a confident, composed attitude can also leave a good impression on girls.
**7. Similarity** Similar people are more likely to attract each other. Similarity brings familiarity and more common topics. As someone in the comments said, "If not for sex, men would prefer to hang out with men." Because they are similar, communication costs are low, and it's easier to develop rapport. So, find your common ground and talk more about topics she's interested in.
**8. Romeo and Juliet Effect** Sometimes, adding a bit of difficulty can make the relationship more intense. Like Romeo and Juliet, the more obstacles there are, the more intense the emotions. Of course, this trick should be used cautiously; if not done right, it can backfire and turn into a "domineering CEO" scenario.
Finally, I want to say that when a girl says "no feeling," it doesn't necessarily mean she's completely uninterested in you; more often, it's literally no feeling. If you still want to pursue her, you need to learn to "read the air," control the output of your neediness, continue to maintain a friendship, and find opportunities to enhance attraction through the key points mentioned above.
In conclusion, matters of the heart can't be rushed. Take it slow, manage it with care, and you'll eventually find that "feeling" that belongs to you.